Home for Christmas
by BettyHall223
Summary: This isn't exactly what Sam had in mind when she pictured her first Christmas as Jack's wife.


_Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are not my property. No copyright infringement is intended._

Jack stuck his head out from under the cover. "Tham." When he didn't get a response, he tried to clear his throat and spoke a little louder. "Tham!"

Sam came to the door of their bedroom.

"Yes?" she tried to say in her most patient voice.

"I don't feel good."

"I know, Jack, you've told me a dozen times. I urged you to get a flu shot, but did you listen? No. Now, what do you need?"

"Pwease don't weave me alone" he whined in a very hoarse voice.

She sat down beside him and took his temperature again, he was still running a fever. "You need to rest your voice."

"I don't wike bein' thick."

"Nobody likes for you to be sick, Jack."

"What's that s'posed to mean?"

"You're a grumpy patient" she teased.

He looked at her with puppy dog eyes. "I don't mean to be."

He was pale, coughing and sneezing and looked like he was miserable. She felt sorry for him as she kissed him on the forehead.

He was retired now and living in the Springs. He had called Hank at the SGC complaining of a fever, chills, headache and nausea and wanted to know if he could see Dr. Lam. Hank told him to come on in. He was feeling so bad, he had taken a taxi to the Mountain instead of driving himself. After Dr. Lam checked him over, she immediately put him in the infirmary.

General Landry had contacted Sam on Atlantis to inform her that Jack was sick with the flu. Since there wasn't much going on there, she asked to come home to check on her husband and the General granted her request. She had been feeling depressed, knowing she might not be with Jack for their first Christmas as a married couple. After some last minute instructions to Colonel Sheppard, she stepped through the gate.

When she had gotten clearance with Dr. Lam to take him home, she could almost hear a collective sigh of relief from the nurses. Jack had always been a bad patient, but when he was this sick, he was even worse and was constantly complaining.

Although he was trying her patience a little, she was glad to be home to spend time with him and was happy to take care of him. She knew that he would do the same for her.

"It's time for your medicine, Jack."

"I don't want mebacin" he said like a stubborn little boy.

"How do you expect to get better if you don't follow Dr. Lam's orders? You need to take your medicine, drink lots of fluids, get lots of rest and you need to eat something."

"I'm not hungwy" he said just as he sneezed.

He reached for the tissue box on the nightstand but accidentally knocked it on the floor. Sam picked it up, pulled out two tissues and handed them to him.

"Fank you" he mumbled.

"You're welcome."

He blew his nose and dropped the tissue in the waste basket and turned over on his back.

"It's hard to bweathe."

Sam went into the bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet, came back and sat down beside him and unbuttoned his pajama top.

He watched as she opened a jar of Vicks VapoRub. "I'm going to put some of this on your chest. My mom used to put this on me when I was sick and it always helped the congestion. Take some deep breaths, it'll help you breathe better."

He continued to stare at her, thinking how kind she was. "You're so thweet, Tham, I'm glad you're home."

She grinned at him and continued to gently apply the ointment to his chest. After she finished, she went back into the bathroom and washed her hands, came back and sat down beside him and buttoned his pajama top for him.

"Is it helping?"

He took a deep breath and nodded his head as he continued to stare at her and grinned again.

"If you're feeling so bad, why are you grinning?"

He wiggled his eyebrows. "I know one way you can make me feel better."

"Oh for cryin' out loud, Jack. Here you are with the flu and the only thing you can think about is sex? Is that all guys ever think about?"

He sniffed and wiped his watery eyes. "No, we fink about uver fangs."

"Such as?"

He tried to clear his throat which made him cough. He raised up and she gently hit him on the back a few times and handed him a glass of water. He took a few sips and handed it back to her and she set it on the nightstand as he lay back down.

"Sometimes we fink about . . . well, sports or cars or . . ."

"The Simpsons?" she added.

"Yeah, that . . . and . . ." he paused for a long moment. "Well . . . when I think about sex, you're always there" he added with a grin.

She laughed and patted his hand. "Well, that's nice to know."

He grinned back at her with those chocolate brown eyes and lopsided grin that always warmed her heart.

"I wuv you, Tham."

"I love you too, Jack."

He rubbed his eyes. "My head hurts" he said with a whine.

She stood up, opened his medicine bottle and poured two pills in her hand and handed them to him with the glass of water. He set up long enough to swallow the pills and the water, gave her back the water glass, then lay back on the pillow. "Now I'm dizzy."

She put her hands on her hips. "It's partly because you refuse to eat. I'm going to heat some soup and you're going to eat it, even if I have to force it down you."

He grinned at her. "You're so cute when you're bossy."

She rolled her eyes and headed for the kitchen. "He's just like a little kid when he's sick" she mumbled to herself.

He turned over on his side and pulled the cover back over his head.

Twenty minutes later, Sam came in carrying a tray with a steaming bowl of soup and some crackers.

"Jack, sit up."

All she heard was a moan.

"Jack, come on, sit up. You have to eat."

He slowly pushed the cover back, set up and put his pillow behind him and leaned against the headboard. He grabbed another pillow to put on his lap and Sam carefully set down the tray on the pillow.

Jack looked at the soup, then at her.

She sat down beside him and crossed her arms and he knew not to argue. He took the spoon and gently blew on the soup to cool it, put it in his mouth, then took a bite of a cracker.

Neither one spoke as he continued to eat until all the soup was gone.

She took the tray and set it on the floor as Jack lay back.

"Are you happy now?" he asked.

"You know, Jack, it's a good thing I love you so much. Otherwise, I would be really tempted to just go back to Atlantis and let you take care of yourself and you can have Christmas all alone."

"No, pease don't. I pwomise to be good."

"You need to rest and I know a good way to help you relax."

A big smile lit up his face.

Sam shook her head. "No, Jack, nothing like that."

The smile disappeared and he stuck out his lower lip.

The look on his face almost made her giggle. "Take off your pajama top and turn over on your stomach."

"Why?"

"Just do it please."

He set up, pulled the pajama top over his head, laid it beside him on the bed and turned over on his stomach.

"Put your arms above your head" she instructed and he did as she said.

She got on the other side of the bed beside him, rubbed her hands together to warm them, and began to give him a massage as she kneaded his arms and shoulders, then slowly moved down his back. She leaned over and kissed him on his neck.

"I like this kind of mebacin" he mumbled into the pillow.

She continued to work until her hands started to ache.

"I have to stop, Jack, my hands are getting tired."

"Ohhhh. Just when it was starting to feel really good."

"I'm sorry. I'll do it again later. I promise."

He turned over and she held out his pajama top to him. He slipped it over his head and lay on his back.

"Do you think we could get someone to come give me a massage?"

"You didn't like the way I did it?"

"Yes, but you have enough to do."

"Well, how thoughtful of you. And I suppose you would like to get Uma Thurman or Mary Steenbergen?"

"Hey, do you think we could get both?" he asked with a grin.

Sam picked up a pillow and gently whacked him over the head.

"Hey! Be careful! I have a headache!"

"I think you just need some love and attention more than anything else."

He looked at her with a grin and didn't say anything.

She got right in his face. "Am I right?"

He looked down and stared at his fingers as he ran them along the edge of his pajama top. "Yes" he said shyly.

She smiled. "You'll always have my love and attention, Jack, even if you are grumpy and acting like a four year old."

"I can't help it" he whined.

She laughed and moved up to the head of the bed and leaned against the headboard. She put a pillow on her lap and patted it. "Lie down."

He turned over on his side, facing her, and lay his head on the pillow. She ran her fingers through his soft silver hair.

A relaxed smile came to his face and he closed his eyes as she slowly massaged his scalp.

As she sat there, she thought about the distance that had separated them. Tears came to her eyes as she thought about how much she loved him and how much she had missed him.

While still on Atlantis, she had daydreamed about their first Christmas together. She could see them at the cabin as they cut down a tree and decorated it. She could see them snuggling under a blanket in front of a roaring fire, sharing a bowl of popcorn, opening presents on Christmas morning, long conversations and just enjoying the peace and quiet and being alone together. Unfortunately, that had not been the way things had worked out. But she knew that no matter where she was for Christmas, as long as she was with him, she was happy.

She massaged his head until she could tell by his slow, rhythmic breathing that he had fallen asleep. She slowly lifted the pillow, moved out from under it, laid it back down and quietly slid off the bed. She pulled a blanket up to his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek.

A few hours later as she sat watching a Christmas movie on TV, she heard him get up to go to the bathroom so she went to check on him. He was just getting back into bed when she came into the room.

"You okay?"

"My head isn't hurting any more, sleeping helped, and my throat isn't as scratchy. Still feeling a little tired and achy though."

"You need more rest, Jack, the flu usually lasts for several days."

She sat down beside him and put the thermometer under his tongue.

"Your temperature is still a little high but it's better than it was. Do you need anything?"

He looked into her eyes. "Just you."

She smiled. "You have me. Always will."

"Tomorrow is Christmas and I didn't get a tree to decorate or anything. I didn't think you'd be here so I didn't make the effort."

"It doesn't matter, Jack. All I want for Christmas is to spend it with you. While you were sleeping, I thought about running out to do some last minute shopping, but I didn't want to leave in case you needed me. I don't have a gift for you to open tomorrow morning. As you know, there's no place to shop on Atlantis."

He reached for her hand. "It's okay, Sam. Having you here with me is the best present I could have ever hoped for. I was feeling really down, knowing you might not be here for Christmas, so maybe in a way it was good I got sick so you could come home."

"That's one way to look at it."

"Would you stay with me a little while?"

"Sure." She took off her shoes and lay down beside him. He wrapped his arm around her waist and held her tight as they both drifted off to sleep.

When she opened her eyes, the room was almost dark. She slowly turned over to see that he was still sleeping. She got out of bed just as her stomach growled.

She went into the kitchen and made grilled cheese sandwiches to go with the leftover soup. She had just started to put Jack's food on a tray to take to him when he walked into the kitchen.

"Why are you out of bed?"

"I'm tired of lying down."

"I was just going to bring you some food."

"I can eat at the table."

They sat down to eat and as soon as he was finished, he went back to the bedroom and lay back down. He could hear Sam in the kitchen, putting dishes in the dishwasher while softly singing Jingle Bells. He smiled as he listened. It was great to have her home, especially for Christmas. He had missed her so much. It was also hard for him to hear her and to know that she would be leaving soon to go back to Atlantis, leaving the house quiet again, too quiet for him.

He turned over on his side and stared into the darkness. He was so very tempted to ask her to come home and never go off-world again. But he knew he could never really ask her to do that. Her career was important to her and she was needed on Atlantis.

They had known before they were married that there were going to be times when they would have to be separated. When they had first married, he had been in Washington and she at Area 51 but they saw each other as much as they could. Then he had retired and come home to the Springs, about the time that Sam had been given the prime opportunity to oversee Atlantis. Even though they knew they would miss each other terribly, they also knew it was an assignment that Sam could not pass up. As he had told her "it will certainly look good on your resume."

He sighed as he turned over on his back and put his arms above his head. She would be here for a few days after Christmas, so he made up his mind at that moment to just enjoy their time together and not dwell on the fact that they would be apart again very soon. He swallowed the lump in his throat when he thought of the old saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder.' That was certainly true in their case. Tears came to his eyes and he squeezed them shut as he drifted off to sleep.

Sam finished cleaning the kitchen and looked outside. It was snowing. A smile came to her face as she realized that their first Christmas together as a married couple would be a white Christmas.

She put on her coat and went out the front door. She sat down on the top step of the porch and wrapped her arms around her knees and looked up at the softly falling snow. She took a deep breath and could see Christmas lights and Christmas trees in the windows of the houses up and down the street. It reminded her of the time when her parents bundled up Mark and herself when they were little, and the four of them walked around their neighborhood, just looking at the beautiful wonderland as it snowed on that Christmas Eve so long ago.

Although she couldn't see the sky because of the clouds, she knew that somewhere out there in all that vastness was Atlantis. Tears came to her eyes as she remembered that in a few days, she would have to leave Earth, and Jack, to resume her responsibilities there.

She sat there taking in all the sights, storing them in her mind so she would have these memories to reflect on, once she returned to where she was needed.

But she also knew that Jack needed her here. Not only now when he was sick, but all those other times as well. She knew he had missed her, just as she had missed him. Tears fell down her cheeks and she began to sob. It was going to be so very hard to have to tell him bye once again. Though separated by millions of miles, her love for him grew stronger every day, even though they had spent more time apart than together since they had married. She sat there as the sobs turned into soft weeping and she laid her head on her knees. She let the tears come, just to give herself some release from all the emotions running through her heart. She finally wiped away the tears and went back inside.

She took off her coat and went into the bedroom. The light from the hallway gave just enough light so she could see that Jack was getting some much needed rest. She tiptoed over to him and softly sat down on the edge of the bed beside him, just watching him. Memories ran through her mind as she replayed their wedding and honeymoon. Then, much too soon after their wedding, there had been that fateful day when they had stood at the bottom of the ramp at the SGC with tears in their eyes. They gave each other one last long hug, then he watched as she walked to the event horizon, turned and tried to smile at him as she swallowed the lump in her throat, before stepping through to assume command of Atlantis.

They stayed in touch as much as they could but being apart was hard on them both. Jack would sometimes come to the SGC to talk with her over the webcam. Everyone on Atlantis and at the SGC would try to give them as much privacy as possible during their conversations. She always tried to stay positive as they talked and she tried not to let him see how much it upset her to see him so close, but to know that he was so far away. They had gotten into the habit of just before saying goodbye, they would place their hands on the screen, as a way of touching each other. Several times after their conversations, she had gone to the privacy of her quarters and cried, because seeing his face just confirmed how much she loved him and missed him. She sometimes wondered if she was doing the right thing by being away from him. She loved her job and the responsibilities it held and knew that Jack was so very proud of her, and she knew he would never ask her to give it all up for him and come home; she knew he would leave that decision totally up to her.

Seeing him here again on Earth made her question her priorities. Did the job satisfaction outweigh being away from her husband? She closed her eyes and put her hands to her face as a tear slipped down her cheek. There was no question that Jack would always be her first priority.

She leaned over and gave him a gentle lingering kiss on his forehead, then quietly changed into her gown, turned off the light in the hall and got into bed. She spooned up against him and put her arm around his waist. Even in sleep, Jack grasped her hand. It was all she could do not to cry, knowing how much she would miss cuddling up to his warm body and just hearing him breathe. She choked back the tears, took a deep breath and tried to sleep.

The next morning, she slowly opened her eyes to see Jack propped up on his fist, smiling at her.

He leaned over and kissed her. "Good morning."

She put her hand to his cheek and smiled at him. "Good morning. You look like you're feeling better."

"Yes, I am."

"Glad to hear it."

"I have something for you."

She set up and watched as he opened the nightstand, reached in the back and got out a red box with a red ribbon tied around it. He turned to face her with a smile and handed it to her. "Merry Christmas."

She took the box as her eyes grew wide. "But I don't have a gift for you."

"Doesn't matter."

"But . . ." she started to protest.

He held up his finger to stop her. "Just open it for cryin' out loud."

She grinned, untied the ribbon, opened the box and gasped.

"Oh Jack." She put her hand to her mouth as tears came to her eyes. She lifted the necklace from the box and held it in her hands.

"It's called an eternity necklace. It has no beginning and no end, just like my love for you, Sam. My love for you had a beginning but it will never end. I will always love you."

Tears ran down her face as she looked at him, then back down at the necklace. The necklace was a circle, about an inch and a half in diameter, made of beautiful diamonds, attached to a delicate chain.

He wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I bought it a few weeks ago and planned to give it to you the next time I saw you, so it worked out well that I can give it to you on Christmas morning."

"I'm at a loss for words, Jack. It's . . . it's just so beautiful." She put her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "Thank you."

She held on tighter and began to sob and he held her for a few moments. He finally pulled away from her. "Hey, what is it?"

"It's just . . ."

"What, honey?"

"I've missed you so much and in a few days I'll have to leave. It gets harder every time I see you."

He put his arms around her and held her and closed his eyes.

"I know. It's the same for me too."

She leaned back from him and wiped her eyes. "I love my job, Jack, but I love you more and sometimes I wonder if I should be here with you."

She put the necklace back in the box and set it down beside her.

"Sam, you know how much I love you and miss you. But I know how important your career is to you and you're doing a fantastic job on Atlantis. Before too long, you're going to get those stars on your shoulders. And when you do, I'm going to be even more proud of you than I already am, if that's possible, and you're going to be proud of yourself. You've worked so hard for this, honey. You've deserved every promotion. When I came to visit you on Atlantis, I could see how much everyone likes and respects you. You're a terrific leader."

"But I miss you so much, Jack. You're the best thing to ever happen to me but we've hardly had any time together since we got married and I always feel like I'm telling you goodbye. I'm not sure I want to keep doing this, I'm not sure it's worth it. I want a home, not just a temporary place to live. I think I might even like for us to have a baby. I want to go to sleep in your arms. I want us to have the chance to make love whenever we want to. I want to kiss you awake in the mornings. I want us to have time to really talk, not just have a quick conversation with each other over the webcam. I don't want to worry about you when you're sick. I want to be here to take care of you and see for myself that you're getting well and will be okay."

He grabbed some tissues, handed them to her and watched as she wiped her face. He looked into her eyes. "Only you can decide what's best for you. If you really want to give it up and come home, I'll support you, one hundred percent. You know I'd love it if you came home for good."

She gazed into his eyes and he could only think of one other time when she had looked this sad, and that was when Jacob died. He took her hands in his. "I want to tell you something."

"What?"

"Not too long ago when Hank and I were playing chess, he told me he wants to retire soon. If you stay on Atlantis long enough to be promoted to brigadier general and he retires, I'm pretty certain he would offer you the job as base commander of the SGC. I'm sure the President would go for it and they could let Sheppard command Atlantis. He's going to be up for a promotion soon too, so I hear."

Sam squeezed Jack's hands. "I guess that could work. We just don't know exactly how long it would be though."

"I know, but it's something to think about and as I said, either way, I'll support your decision."

Sam let go of his hands and put her arms around his neck. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being the sweetest and most unselfish husband in the whole universe."

He chuckled. "You say that now. I'm sure I've been trying your patience while I've been sick."

She leaned back and grinned. "Everyone deserves a chance to complain occasionally. Besides, I like taking care of you. It feels good to be needed as your wife, which I don't get the chance to do often enough."

"I'll always need you, Sam, whether you're here or millions of miles from me. Don't ever forget that."

She took a deep breath. "So, I guess I'll be going back in a few days and we'll just hope to be together eventually."

"Yeah, I guess so." He put his hand to her cheek. "Let's not spend Christmas day feeling gloomy. Let's enjoy the time we do have together."

She nodded her head.

"Did you really mean it about maybe having a baby?" he asked with a grin.

Sam smiled. "You betcha!"

"Sweet! Since I'm feeling better, maybe we can make up for lost time and I'll just show you how much I've missed you and how much I love you."

"Merry Christmas, Jack."

"Merry Christmas, Sam."

They both grinned as she pulled his pajama top over his head and he took off her gown.

The End


End file.
